quarternotes

I really thank God for answering my prayers. Two weeks ago, I started doubting every single thing that goes on in my life... every single aspect of my life. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure of which path to take. Hell, I wasn't even sure where I was going!

It was like going in circles and I just felt that I needed help... big time! Questions and anxiety gushed through my veins like flowing river on a rainy day. I became weak and pathetic in every sense. I almost lost my self.

The oratory at the LHS became my sanctuary. One day, when I felt like my entire world was already crashing down on me, I immediately stood up; and almost without thinking, I rushed up the oratory as if someone was after me. I cried really hard (hope no one noticed me) and I really didn't know what to think about. And then... I let go. I lifted up my self. I surrendered my everything... all, up to HIM! I spent 15-20 minutes crying as hard as I could. And until that very last tear drop, I sobbed my desperation and fears. Suddenly, I felt HIM embracing me... as if we was telling me that my dark world will have light soon. I didn't know what it meant then. Until two days after, it was like the whole world watched me cry and realized my pain.

Things started to iron out and go smoothly. Questions started to have answers and confusion was clearing up bit by bit. As of today, I'm still coping with the part of me that I lost. I can't say that I'm completely all right. But I was able to allow light to enter my darkness; HIS light now surrounding me. Giving up and surrendering my all up to HIM was definitely the right move. I'm still struggling but I'm getting there... Almost. Just a little bit more.

When all else fails, you really don't have much of a choice. When you hit rock bottom, all you can do is echo out your plea. But fear not, for God answers our prayers. He has angels everywhere... we just have to keep our eyes, our ears, our hearts open. Let your emptiness be filled with HIS love and mercy. (AMEN)