UNSENT volume one

This is just an entry of collated thoughts I want or wanted to tell certain people. These are the stuff I can't and/or won't tell them upfront. Normally, I'm all for honesty, but it won't be pretty when I actually tell these to them. So, I've decided to take one for these people. After all, these are just my thoughts.


Dear Ms Morocco. I have no idea why you aren't responding to my messages. We used to be very close despite the distance; we used to keep ourselves updated regularly. Now that you've already crossed some milestone in your life, I seem to be one of those you decided to leave behind. I just miss you and I hope we could still catch-up from time to time.

Dear Mr Green Tea Frappuccino. You've definitely changed. Yeah, we both know you're aware already and that you're sticking with it. If only you can see how unhealthy your situation is. If only you can see how a decision can destroy your life. I miss the good ol' times. Now, all I have are memories. I just wish there's still room for friendship after all the drama. The song "Carousel" by Paramita translates everything I gotta say.

Dear Ms Fine. It amazes me how you and Mr Scarf got together. I wish I had witnessed how it happened. It must be a real joy seeing Mr Scarf wooing you, haha. Needless to say, you guys are happy together. Mr Scarf has been a really good friend, confidant and companion to many things. You're just blessed to have him, so please take care of it. I hope we can be good friends too!

Dear Mr Scarf. You have no idea how I thankful I am that you're in my life. You've played an important role in my darkest hours. Thanks for keeping me afloat. Although, you were really annoying before... now, I'm glad we're okay. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for making me realize my worth.

Dear Mr Grin. I wish to see you again. I know you'll make a difference in my life - and I never go wrong with such hunches. I'm really excited.

Dear Mr Zipper. You're a bundle of surprises. Most of the time, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours. But recently, you surprised me in an awful manner. I felt violated. I honestly don't know how I should feel right now? Traumatic, maybe? But I am strong. I won't let this get me and make me feel less of who I am. I just can't see you... now any time soon.

Dear Mr Bruschetta. You are so naive. Two years? C'mon! This is definitely not normal. But I thank God for each passing day that I get to see you, spend time with you, talk to you. Can I keep you? Even for just a while?

Ripples

I love writing. I'm not saying that I'm an astonishing writer, or that my grammar is perfect and I make sense all the time. No. It's not it. I just love to write. Probably because I know I have a lot to say on a lot of things - not all things though. Plus, the world knows (at least my closest friends do), how talkative I am. My sister would often say, "Ate, ang daldal mo" when the lights are out and we're about to go to sleep. A friend once pointed out, "Ano ba 'yan, B, magpapaalam na nga lang ang dami pang sinasabi" - all because it took us about 30 minutes just to say our so-called 'good-byes.' Yeah, call me a little crazy, I know.


But not all the time, someone is there to listen. It may sound selfish, but I must admit that there are times when I just want to talk and talk and talk and I want someone to listen to whatever speech I have to say. At the end of each day, there's this longing of attention... someone to listen to my thoughts, or the stories of how my day went, or to share a lame punchline from the conversation I overheard while having lunch. Ergo, my outlet is through writing. Whether or not I get feedback or comments, it doesn't matter. All I need is an outlet. That's all.

Though there are really rough times no words can translate my thoughts, my insights. So I just keep quiet, but that doesn't mean my brain's not functioning. It's on, 24/7, and (not to brag) it's sometimes too fast for words to capture what really is going on inside this skull of mine. I feel like I've gone cuckoo in the head. Haha. Oh nevermind the thought. Dismissed.

See what I mean? Weird. Insane. Crazy. The list goes on...

Everything's scattered. All's a big blur. It's just like ripples in the water - once it's started, it will just go on and on, getting bigger and bigger - and who knows when it will stop. Frankly, I really don't care. As long as I stay afloat, I will never stop creating ripples of thoughts in my mind.