quarternotes

Sigh day... *sighs*

Hell week over.. thank God!

I ended this hell week with a poetry writing workshop the whole day, and hanging out with a friend till evening. It's not exactly the ideal way of concluding a week filled with anxiety. Still. It was fun!!!

It's really surprising that I'm still alive. At least I'll be worrying less in the coming weeks. All my projects are on cue. So now I plan to move on my bigger project. Will I be able to survive another whirlwind? Bummer.

Definitely. It had been ages since I last drank my favorite caramel mac.. ah, the sweet love of my taste buds! I think I deserve it. At this point I'm just taking a break from the stress... and of course, satisfying my craving of a macchiato..

Nothing beats.

Last night, I was experiencing an earthquake in my dreams. No. It's not about that "prediction" that there's going to be an 8.1 intensity earthquake in the Philippines tomorrow. It's more personal, really.

As soon as I got hold of the computer mouse... click here, click there... got it!


"If you dream of an earthquake, be prepared for some major changes in your life. A move, change in jobs or change in mates is in store for you." -www.dreamingminds.8m.com


"This suggests great anxiety. But it is often dreamt when enormous personal changes are occurring, perhaps brought on by slow gathering change that suddenly pushes into consciousness." -www.dreamhawk.com


"To dream of an earthquake, suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights you insecurity, fears and sense of helplessness. If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer loss of your business and assets." -www.brilliantdreams.com


"Unlike some of the other dreams about natural disasters, earthquakes usually symbolize parts of the dreamer's physical reality rather than his emotional life. The earthquake in the dream may be representing financial difficulties, health issues, or any number of other problems that could occur in daily life. An experience that is 'shaking you up, and changing your daily life, could be creeping into your dream state and showing up as an earthquake." -www.dreamloverinc.com


"Psychological Meaning: Something is upsetting you that has destroyed your feeling of security. You may feel that your whole world is falling apart and you 'quake with fear'. Similarly, something may be threatening you from below the surface of your awareness. This may be a repressed fear or anxiety that you have pushed underground into the depths of your unconscious.

Mystical Meaning: Dream superstition interprets earthquakes as a symbol for a change in circumstances." -www.dreamsleep.net


So what does it say about my life? The word "stress" is written all over my face. The word "panic" is synonymous to any work-related tasks. And the word "relax" is no longer in my mental vocabulary. I attest that most of these interpretations are true. I'm no Nostradamus but I know myself.

This morning I had breakfast with my good ol' friend. It was fun doing the old routine - waking up really early, meeting up somewhere to have breakfast, catching up with our lives, sharing stories and, just talk.

While we enjoying the breakfast buffet, a group of old people (say 60 ++ y/o) entered the restaurant. I can tell from their gestures that they've been friends for a very long time. And then we asked ourselves if we'd be like that after 50 years. Well, I'd like to believe so. Being with friends such as him keeps me from totally going mad.

So I thank my friends who constantly stick with me through thick and thin - without judgment and pride. These friends worth keeping are those I'd be sharing a cup of coffee in 50 years time.

The past week wasn't exactly "nice" for many reasons.

One, career isn't really going well.

Two, I've been spacing out often - lacking focus and the will to act accordingly.

Three, depression's killing me.. and no one was able to notice.

...these are just some among a handful. I just feel lost and alone.

Is something wrong with the moon?

I just snapped! *crack!*

Let me start by saying I want to quit my job.

I'm not even sure if I'm happy here what the stuff I'm doing.

I hate coordinating. I hate paperworks. I hate reports and filing and all that crap.

So what do I want to do? You tell me.